What to Know About Changing Your Name After You Say "I Do"

Starting the Name Change Process: Tips & Resources

If you're thinking about changing your name after getting married, you're definitely not alone. For many couples, it’s one of the first big “life admin” tasks after the wedding. While the process can seem a bit overwhelming at first, it’s completely doable with a little guidance.

Whether you're taking your partner's name, hyphenating, creating a brand new last name, or not changing a thing, this guide is here to support your choice. No matter what you decide, you're not doing it wrong.

First, Decide What Feels Right for You

There’s no rulebook for what your name should be after marriage. Some people take their partner’s last name. Others hyphenate or combine names in a new way. Some couples even create a completely original last name that feels like a fresh start together. And plenty of people decide to keep their own names for personal, professional, or cultural reasons.

This is your name, your identity, and your relationship. Choose what feels true to you, not what others expect.

For queer couples or those in non-traditional relationships, there may not be a clear default. That’s perfectly okay. This is a chance to be creative, stay authentic, or honor both of your histories in a way that makes sense for your life together.

If You’re Changing Your Name, Here’s Where to Start

Once you've decided to move forward with a name change, here are the key steps to follow.

Get your marriage certificate

This is your official proof of marriage, and you’ll need it to update your name with government agencies and other institutions. Most counties let you request certified copies online. It’s a good idea to order more than one.

Update your Social Security card

Visit the Social Security Administration website to download the name change form (SS-5). You’ll need to mail it in or go to an office with your marriage certificate and proof of ID.

Go to the DMV

Once your Social Security card is updated, you can change the name on your driver’s license. Each state has different requirements, so check your local DMV website before you go.

Update your passport

If you plan to travel, especially internationally, make sure your passport matches your new name. Depending on how recently it was issued, the process and forms will vary. Give yourself plenty of time if you have a honeymoon or trip coming up.

Don’t Forget These Other Places

Once the major updates are done, make a checklist of all the other places where your name might appear:

• Banks and credit cards

• Employer or payroll systems

• Health insurance and medical records

• Utility accounts

• Voter registration

• Travel reward programs

• Subscriptions and memberships

• Email and social media accounts

If You’re Not Changing Your Name

Great. You don’t have to do anything legal if you're keeping your current name. Still, you might want to:

• Let friends and family know your decision so they use the correct name

• Be clear with travel bookings or vendors to avoid confusion

• Update your marital status where it matters, like HR, benefits, or taxes

• Some couples also talk about how they want to be referred to as a family unit. You might decide to call yourselves "The Parkers" or something fun and personal, even if you don’t change your legal names. You can still create a shared identity in a way that works for you.

Considering a New Last Name Together?

If you and your partner are blending or creating a new last name, you may need to file a court petition depending on your state. This process is a bit more involved than a traditional name change, but it’s absolutely possible and often really meaningful.

Look up your state’s name change laws or consult with a family law attorney to get started. Some name change services also offer guidance for this route.

Name Change Services That Can Help

Changing your name takes time and energy, but you don’t have to do it all on your own. There are services that simplify the process and help you stay on track. A few options include:

• HitchSwitch

• NameChangeKit

• MissNowMrs

These services offer pre-filled forms, step-by-step instructions, and even tracking tools so you can see your progress along the way.

For Queer Couples Navigating Name Choices

If you're in a queer or LGBTQ+ marriage, you already know that many of the traditional wedding “rules” don’t always fit. The conversation around name changes is no exception.

You may not have grown up seeing examples of couples like yours going through this process. That can make decisions about names feel more complicated, or even more emotional. Maybe you want to share a name as a way to express your unity. Maybe you want to keep your own names to honor your individual identities. Or maybe you're thinking about creating a completely new name together that reflects your shared values and future.

There isn’t one “default” option here, and that can actually be a beautiful thing. You have the freedom to define your relationship in your own way, including how you choose to approach your name.

Some queer couples see name changes as a way to claim space and say, "We are a family, and this is how we show up in the world." Others see their existing names as a core part of who they are and choose to keep them. Both of these paths are completely valid. They are deeply personal decisions that deserve respect.

Whatever you choose, the most important thing is that it feels authentic and empowering to you. Don’t feel pressured to follow tradition if it doesn’t resonate. At the same time, if tradition feels meaningful, that’s worth embracing too. The right decision is the one that reflects who you are, both as individuals and as partners. And the way you build your life together is entirely your own.

Final Thoughts

The name change process doesn’t have to be stressful. Whether you’re changing your name, combining names, or keeping your own, your choice is completely valid.

Take your time, stay organized, and do what feels right for you. This is your new chapter, and you deserve to start it in a way that reflects who you are.

Kinsey & Kevin. Photography- Phoenix Coalition Photography. Venue- Judson Mill