Distance Doesn’t Mean Disconnected: A Guide to Wedding Planning from Different Places

Planning a wedding is challenging enough when you're in the same place. Add distance into the mix, and suddenly you’re navigating time zones, video calls, and the occasional miscommunication about guest lists or napkin colors. But if you're in the middle of planning a wedding while living in a different city or even a different country from your partner, you are not alone. And yes, it can still be beautiful.

Lisa & Shane. Photography- Generations Photography

Here’s how to approach long-distance wedding planning with as much grace and connection as possible.

1. Align on Priorities First

Before diving into the to-do list, carve out time to talk through what matters most to both of you. Is it the guest experience? The food? Staying within a certain budget? Knowing what’s non-negotiable for each of you helps streamline decisions later and prevents frustration when you can’t sit down and hash it out in person.

This conversation doesn’t have to happen all at once. Schedule time for it like you would a date night. Pour a drink, get on FaceTime, and dream out loud together.

2. Get Clear on Roles and Responsibilities

When you can't be physically together to knock things out as a team, divide and conquer. Maybe one of you handles vendors while the other manages logistics like transportation and accommodations. If one of you is in the same city as the wedding venue, that person might be the one to do site visits or tastings.

Write it all down in a shared document so expectations are clear. It’s not about splitting everything 50/50. It’s about playing to your strengths and availability.

3. Use Technology to Your Advantage

There’s no shortage of planning tools designed for long-distance collaboration. Google Drive, Notion, Trello, or even a shared Pinterest board can go a long way. Use video calls to meet with vendors together. Record venue walk-throughs. Tour rental items over Zoom. It may not be the same as being there in person, but it’s better than trying to make decisions based on a few photos.

And if a vendor isn’t flexible with remote communication, that might be a red flag.

4. Schedule Regular Planning Check-Ins

When you’re in different time zones or juggling opposite work schedules, it’s easy to let wedding planning take a back seat. Set up a recurring time to connect: weekly or biweekly works for most couples. Use the time to go over what’s been done and what needs attention.

Keep these meetings short and focused. Having an agenda beforehand helps. And try not to let wedding talk dominate every call you have. You’re still a couple, not a project team.

5. Lean on Your People

If you’re not able to attend every vendor meeting or walkthrough, see if a friend or family member you trust can go in your place. Give them a list of questions and ask them to take notes or record the experience. Sometimes just having another set of eyes on something can make a huge difference.

Don’t be afraid to delegate. You don’t have to do everything yourselves, especially when distance makes things harder.

6. Embrace the Moments You Do Get Together

Whether you’re long-distance for a few months or a few years, those times you get to see each other in person are gold. Use them to make important decisions if you can. But also use them to reconnect outside of wedding mode. Go on dates. Have a slow morning. Be present.

Planning a wedding is part of your journey. It’s not the whole story.

7. Remember Why You're Doing This

When it starts to feel like a spreadsheet is running your relationship, take a breath. Step back. Call each other just to talk. Watch a movie at the same time. Write each other notes. Long-distance wedding planning is hard, but it’s also proof that the two of you can handle life’s curveballs together.

This season won’t last forever. And when the day finally comes, when you stand in front of your people and say yes to a future together, it won’t matter how many of your decisions were made over Zoom or how many hours you spent apart.

You made it happen. Together.