Private Vows, Big Celebration: The Best of Both Worlds

Eloping has become more popular than ever, and for good reason. For some couples, a big wedding just doesn't feel right. Maybe it's the stress, the expense, or the idea of standing in front of a hundred people that makes your stomach turn. Maybe you just want a moment that feels truly private and personal. If that sounds like you, you’re not alone.

But just because you're choosing a small ceremony doesn't mean you have to skip the celebration altogether. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a private moment for your vows and then throwing an amazing party with your favorite people later. In fact, it might be the best of both worlds.

Here’s how you can do both, and make it meaningful, fun, and totally you.

Keep the Ceremony Intimate

Your elopement is about you and your partner. It can be just the two of you on a mountaintop, a quiet courthouse moment, or something small and simple in your backyard. No pressure. No expectations. Just the two of you committing to each other in whatever way feels right.

Take the time to plan something that reflects your relationship. Wear what you want. Say what you want. Make it feel like you. And don’t feel guilty for keeping it private. You don’t owe anyone a seat at the ceremony if it doesn’t feel right to you.

Capture the Moment

Even if no one else is there, you might want to invest in a photographer or videographer. That way, you’ll have something to share later if you choose. Some couples also write letters to their loved ones to read after the ceremony, especially if family members were hoping to be part of the day. It’s a sweet way to include people without compromising your desire for privacy.

Plan a Celebration That Feels Like a Party, Not a Second Wedding

Once you’ve had your private moment, you can plan something totally different for friends and family. This doesn’t have to look anything like a traditional wedding reception. In fact, it can be even better because you can skip all the formal stuff and focus on what makes a great party: good food, music, drinks, and your favorite people.

Think of it like a celebration of your marriage instead of a wedding. You’re not re-doing the day. You’re marking it in a way that includes everyone else.

Some fun ideas:

• A backyard barbecue with lawn games and a food truck

• A rooftop cocktail party with a DJ and dancing

• A weekend getaway with your closest crew

• A brunch or dinner party that’s laid-back but still feels special

There’s no right or wrong here. The point is to create a space where your people can gather, celebrate you, and have a great time.

Decide If You Want to Share Any Part of the Elopement

Some couples show a video or photos from their ceremony at the party. Others keep it private. Do what feels right for you. If you’re worried about people feeling left out, just be open and honest about your reasons for eloping. Most people will understand, especially when they see how much fun the celebration is.

Give the Celebration Its Own Identity

This isn’t a “reception after the fact.” It’s a celebration of your marriage. So feel free to name it something that reflects that. Call it an anniversary-style bash, a love party, or just your wedding celebration. Whatever you call it, make it feel like you.

The Best Part? No Rules

At the end of the day, this is your wedding. Your marriage. Your memories. Whether you say your vows in secret or dance the night away with a hundred friends, the beauty is in doing what feels true to you.

So go ahead and elope. Make that moment as private and meaningful as you want. And when you're ready to celebrate, throw the kind of party you’ll always remember.

You deserve both.

Brooke and Jake. Photography- Hannah & Miranda with 93 Wedding Collective.